1.5 Seconds
So on Saturday (November 24th) I went to the hospital with my sister again. At about 12 o’clock I left to walk to the Fulham Broadway tube station for a District Line train to Embankment. I hadn’t planned on stalking Lee or anything, honestly, in fact I didn’t want to see/meet him, not then (or ever). This has nothing to do with me thinking he wouldn’t live up to my expectations or anything, no, not at all. It’s just me being…me, I guess. I know I would freak. But I still wanted to trot around Covent Garden, take in the crazy buzz on a Saturday and walk by the work place of the blessed one. While walking (in silly shoes) I got a call from my friend A. who’s been living in London since June. I had left a message for her a bit earlier to see if she was working or not and if she would be up for a spontaneous meeting. She was and suggested meeting at London Bridge a bit later. After hanging up I kept walking around, looking at things and people and then started to feel increasingly stupid. “What are you doing? Do you want to see him or what? Stop it, you silly girl, you can’t even walk past the stage door without wetting your pants, so go away. Your feet hurt, you’re kinda hungry and when did you last have a glass of water?” I gave in to my saner self and put an end to this idiotic aimless strolling around.
I walked into EAT, which is at one end of Maiden Lane (the one nearer to the stage door). Took a bottle of water and kept walking along the aisle to pick out a small meal or sandwich. Took me ages and I still hadn’t picked anything when I for some reason looked to my left, out of the window. Had I not spent minutes (ok, maybe 1 or 2) looking for food or had I turned my head a tiny little bit earlier…I could have seen him longer than for the one second that followed.
Lee was outside and between him and myself was a wall of glass. While I had been in EAT, he had been walking down the same street I had walked down (and up) minutes ago. But when I saw him he was just about to turn into Maiden Lane. Something strange happened to me that moment. He was….like a picture, a painting coming to life for a single second. It really was him. I don’t remember exactly what he was wearing, maybe his brown leather jacket? I don’t know. I saw his little man bag, in fact, I now think that I saw the bag before my brain realized it was him.
The strangest and scariest thing was the emotion that rushed through my body in that moment. You know that feeling when you see the person you reallyreally like/love but they don’t know anything about it so every time you see them it’s like a miracle?
I felt a rush of excitement, shock, joy and fear, all at the same time, going straight to my stomach, climbing up and curling around my heart before creeping into my throat where it almost started sending tears of desperation to my eyes. In the next few seconds I made, like, 27 different decisions and needless to say there were all the wrong ones. I practically threw the bottle of water into the sandwiches on display (I guess I should be grateful I didn’t actually steal it) and walked out of EAT; forcing myself not to run. “What are you going to do? Running after him like an idiot, stalker girl? Stand here with your mouth hanging open like that??” I wasn’t able to think properly and I….did not follow him.
Instead I passed Maiden Lane again while looking after him and saw how Lee greeted people (in the 0.5 seconds it seemed like he did that in a pretty friendly way, seemed like he knew them but I guess with Lee you don’t know as he seems to be like that to everyone). There were other people too, obviously waiting for him. Then it was over. I walked up the street he had (about ten seconds ago) walked down, towards me (HAHA!!) and tried to get my head around what I’ve just seen and around my own stupidity. I knew I wouldn’t go to the stage door, I didn’t want to. Instead I called my younger sister, who after a minute asked me if I was drunk because I kept talking like a mad woman. I felt safer doing something unsuspicious like talking into my phone (again HAHA!!) so I turned around again, towards EAT. Then I looked into Maiden Lane and registered with relief that danger had passed and everyone (including Lee, thankfully) was gone. So I happily walked along there, talking to my sis until it was time to make my way to London Bridge.
So that was my 1.5 seconds story of seeing Lee Mead. My very first and definitely, definitely last sort of “encounter” (a third HAHA!!) with him ever. I had a chance and I didn’t want to take it. I could never go to the stage door or do the aftershow scrum. I just can’t. I’m the most emotional person you’ll ever meet. But I was still shocked by the strong emotional reaction I had to seeing Lee just meters away from me for such a short moment. I guess I don’t need to say that he was completely, utterly and just unbelievably beautiful.
There you go, dear friends. I could have seen him for more than 1.5 seconds, I could have walked behind him and stop him…but I didn’t. My gut reaction amidst all that emotional chaos was not to run after him but to get away ASAP.
Offers for therapy hours or hugs are more than welcome right now, thank you.
So on Saturday (November 24th) I went to the hospital with my sister again. At about 12 o’clock I left to walk to the Fulham Broadway tube station for a District Line train to Embankment. I hadn’t planned on stalking Lee or anything, honestly, in fact I didn’t want to see/meet him, not then (or ever). This has nothing to do with me thinking he wouldn’t live up to my expectations or anything, no, not at all. It’s just me being…me, I guess. I know I would freak. But I still wanted to trot around Covent Garden, take in the crazy buzz on a Saturday and walk by the work place of the blessed one. While walking (in silly shoes) I got a call from my friend A. who’s been living in London since June. I had left a message for her a bit earlier to see if she was working or not and if she would be up for a spontaneous meeting. She was and suggested meeting at London Bridge a bit later. After hanging up I kept walking around, looking at things and people and then started to feel increasingly stupid. “What are you doing? Do you want to see him or what? Stop it, you silly girl, you can’t even walk past the stage door without wetting your pants, so go away. Your feet hurt, you’re kinda hungry and when did you last have a glass of water?” I gave in to my saner self and put an end to this idiotic aimless strolling around.
I walked into EAT, which is at one end of Maiden Lane (the one nearer to the stage door). Took a bottle of water and kept walking along the aisle to pick out a small meal or sandwich. Took me ages and I still hadn’t picked anything when I for some reason looked to my left, out of the window. Had I not spent minutes (ok, maybe 1 or 2) looking for food or had I turned my head a tiny little bit earlier…I could have seen him longer than for the one second that followed.
Lee was outside and between him and myself was a wall of glass. While I had been in EAT, he had been walking down the same street I had walked down (and up) minutes ago. But when I saw him he was just about to turn into Maiden Lane. Something strange happened to me that moment. He was….like a picture, a painting coming to life for a single second. It really was him. I don’t remember exactly what he was wearing, maybe his brown leather jacket? I don’t know. I saw his little man bag, in fact, I now think that I saw the bag before my brain realized it was him.
The strangest and scariest thing was the emotion that rushed through my body in that moment. You know that feeling when you see the person you reallyreally like/love but they don’t know anything about it so every time you see them it’s like a miracle?
I felt a rush of excitement, shock, joy and fear, all at the same time, going straight to my stomach, climbing up and curling around my heart before creeping into my throat where it almost started sending tears of desperation to my eyes. In the next few seconds I made, like, 27 different decisions and needless to say there were all the wrong ones. I practically threw the bottle of water into the sandwiches on display (I guess I should be grateful I didn’t actually steal it) and walked out of EAT; forcing myself not to run. “What are you going to do? Running after him like an idiot, stalker girl? Stand here with your mouth hanging open like that??” I wasn’t able to think properly and I….did not follow him.
Instead I passed Maiden Lane again while looking after him and saw how Lee greeted people (in the 0.5 seconds it seemed like he did that in a pretty friendly way, seemed like he knew them but I guess with Lee you don’t know as he seems to be like that to everyone). There were other people too, obviously waiting for him. Then it was over. I walked up the street he had (about ten seconds ago) walked down, towards me (HAHA!!) and tried to get my head around what I’ve just seen and around my own stupidity. I knew I wouldn’t go to the stage door, I didn’t want to. Instead I called my younger sister, who after a minute asked me if I was drunk because I kept talking like a mad woman. I felt safer doing something unsuspicious like talking into my phone (again HAHA!!) so I turned around again, towards EAT. Then I looked into Maiden Lane and registered with relief that danger had passed and everyone (including Lee, thankfully) was gone. So I happily walked along there, talking to my sis until it was time to make my way to London Bridge.
So that was my 1.5 seconds story of seeing Lee Mead. My very first and definitely, definitely last sort of “encounter” (a third HAHA!!) with him ever. I had a chance and I didn’t want to take it. I could never go to the stage door or do the aftershow scrum. I just can’t. I’m the most emotional person you’ll ever meet. But I was still shocked by the strong emotional reaction I had to seeing Lee just meters away from me for such a short moment. I guess I don’t need to say that he was completely, utterly and just unbelievably beautiful.
There you go, dear friends. I could have seen him for more than 1.5 seconds, I could have walked behind him and stop him…but I didn’t. My gut reaction amidst all that emotional chaos was not to run after him but to get away ASAP.
Offers for therapy hours or hugs are more than welcome right now, thank you.
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